Over the past 10 years since I got more seriously into
social dance I’ve learned quite a myriad of styles, primarily swing and
ballroom. One night at a “fusion” dance about three years back, I learned yet another
style — blues. (I’ve played that music as well, so I get the feeling.)
I bring that up because blues dancing can at times be quite
sensual (and I for one enjoy the often-close physical contact with a partner).
So how can I do that and still maintain integrity?
One word: Boundaries.
I always allow my partner to decide just how close she gets
to me, and thus it’s up to me to control myself because she’s in effect
expecting to trust me; most dance groups maintain a code of conduct anyway, so
if I did anything uncouth I could be run out. An actual dance can be smoldering,
the truth be told, but I just let that wash over me while we execute those
moves.
Last night at a dance in a city park adjacent to the
university district I engaged in two close dances with a woman young enough to
be my daughter if I had children and whom do I find physically attractive. However,
she was for a brief period a worship leader at my church and I’ve been a part of
that ministry for two decades, so she probably suspected, correctly, that I
wasn’t about to “do anything” precisely because of our association.
Some months ago during a blues festival fundraiser — here in
Pittsburgh, we have quite a number of those — I engaged in a dance with one of
my regular swing partners. Recently I told her, “I remember that dance.” And I’m
leaving it at that.
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