Making amends

One of the major tenets of 12-Step recovery programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous — I’ve attended meetings, but not specifically AA, off-and-on since 1983 — is that of “making amends.” Specifically, step 8 reads: “Made a list of persons we had harmed and were willing to make amends to them all”; with the subsequent step reading: “Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.” (It should be noted that the program is an offshoot of the Wesleyan revival during the turn of the last century.)

If there’s a problem with our political and social discourse today it’s the unwillingness to do so, even among Christians. I find that sad because I would think that people who recognize their fallen condition would be willing not just to have their sins forgiven but to address the effects of their sin on other people. Indeed, I don’t believe that you can appreciate on a theological level just how bad you’ve been unless and until you recognize and own up to the way you’re hurt others. (For me, that began on a church retreat 34 years ago, and I have since attempted to mend fences with a number of people against whom I had sinned.)

The Christian Gospel was never merely about sins being forgiven so people can go to heaven; it represents a complete change of life which might, should and probably will mean a complete renunciation of underhanded dealings, gossip, resentment and other things not always “covered” among the typical sins surrounding sex, stealing and lying that comprise the heart of the culture wars. This is one reason why “preaching the Gospel,” at least in this country, isn’t enough to cause change — in many cases, hearts truly aren’t changed.

Nowhere do I see this more starkly than in politics, where since 1980 malicious gossip against primarily Democratic candidates for high office is not only not condemned but often even justified. If you wonder why our society is so divided these days, start there because if you’re focused on defeating an enemy by any means necessary I have to question your spiritual maturity. It’s also why I don’t believe that President Donald Trump’s alleged Christian conversion is genuine — not only at no time has he ever delivered any sincere apology for his actions but he’s never even mentioned just how his life has been changed as a result of meeting the living LORD and thus tried to make things right.

And I believe that resistance to “making amends” comes from a refusal to embrace humility. Saying “I was wrong” isn’t easy, you know, because it makes you vulnerable, but it has to be done for the sake of healing of everyone involved. Any married couple who won’t confess their faults to each other won’t last long, nor will a church survive without the regular confession of sin.

We in the church should be a model for the rest of the world because of our supposed commitment to reconciliation. Too bad that it hasn’t worked out that way, and the spiritual awakening we want can't or won't happen unless we can say to each other, “I messed up.”

This is of course the birth month of the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., my hero of the Christian faith who was denigrated in his day and in some cases resented to this day because he unearthed the sin of racism. He was quick to say, of course, that not doing so would cause the wounds continue to fester; indeed, his very last message, never delivered, was entitled “Why America Might Go to Hell.”

I’m not going to tell you at this time exactly what’s required for reconciliation, whether money, reputation or anything else, because each circumstance is different. I will say, however, that if you’re not willing to eat humble pie because you can’t admit your failings I have to question your commitment to the Christian message.